Jumbo size. Small thoughts.

Each person has a story. Most yearn to be told.  Each deserves a limelight. Without such tales I wouldn’t have a job or cocktail conversation.

This afternoon I passed the magazine rack at Safeway.  My eye fell on Fast Company.

Cover story: EXTRAORINDARY WOMEN.

I wish these articles had been written in the 80’s when I had a bit longer runway ahead of me and could have been inspired by the sisterhood instead of momentarily discounting my less extraordinary accomplishments.

How, I wonder, do male readers respond?  Do they think, “Ah, my equal at last!” or “I’ve done more, where is the story about me?” or “Great.  Another ball buster.”

All this thought took a fast moment, mind you. I had gone to pick up bathroom tissue and was quickly on to comparing carrying an economy pack through the streets of Portland to exiting a drug store in Tulsa in the 80’s with boxes of tampons.  With all my powers of observation I have never (thankfully) seen a fellow buying condoms, hair growing tonic or… fill in the blanks, as you most likely know more than me.

When I lug 6 bottles of wine home in a carrier, I build semi-athletic looking arms and  most everyone strikes up a conversation:  “Where’s the party?”  “Your evening looks more promising than mine.”

Carry a 30-pound bag of dog food several blocks and you get smiles all along the way, but bathroom tissue… nothing but silence and averted eyes.  Still I buy the economy pack.  The JUMBO one that fits in no brown bag yet made.

Last time I made such a purchase, Pepperidge Farm cookies were on sale.  Now that’s a backbone-building combo when one unexpectedly walks home from Safeway with a handsome, younger male neighbor.  Of course I didn’t think to look in his shopping bag.  Wonder what I would have found if I wasn’t being so typically self-conscious.


2 Responses to “Jumbo size. Small thoughts.”

  • Steven Osborn Says:

    Found this to be hilarious. I think most of us have had a similar random conversation with ourselves (usually silently) while we were out and about.

  • Elie Says:

    Hmmm….are we left to wonder what toilet tissue the Extraordinary Women use? It’s good to see you blogging again ;-)

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